The Hardest Decision Ever

When I proposed to my fiancee Stephanie in August, I was on the stage of the Westside Theater in NYC at a production of "I Love You, You're Perfect, Now Change." They allowed me backstage and asked me to wait until I was introduced. The planning freak that I am, I had a whole script of what I was going to tell Stephanie repeating in a loop in my head. And then I was introduced.

So I walk out on stage in front of 300 people, address my soon-to-be betrothed, and in that oh-so-inquisitive way I love about her, Stephanie asks, "What are you doing up there?" Having NOT planned for the fact that she specializes in knocking me off my game, without thinking I responded, "doing the most difficult thing I've ever done." Then, after realizing the possible interpretation the other 299 people might have had, I revised my answer to an equally inane "well, not that difficult," jumped off the stage and proposed. Fortunately she said yes; chalk that one up to the spotlight.

And actually, proposing to Stephanie was not the most difficult decision I have ever made. It was purchasing her engagement ring that threw me into about a three-month cloud of confusion. If I were to characterize exactly what an engagement ring means to me, it would be "a promise to make her mine forever." If you were to ask me about this fundamental objective before I started shopping, I would have answered something about fulfilling the requirements for getting hitched. But after wrapping my head around the 5 C's and weighing them against the sixth, cash, my engineer brain searched and searched for justification for a multi-thousand-dollar symbol of love and committment.

A few things that didn't help my decision: the movie "Blood Diamond" which outlined the diamond trade black market and corruption of the DeBeers family's monopoly, and "Have You Ever Tried to Sell a Diamond," a classic article from The Atlantic which unfolds the legend of the diamond's powers over men and women.

Both of these works fully expose the diamond as a farce, a poor investment and a tool for crimes against humanity. You can imagine that the DeBeers family was portrayed or mentioned quite a few times, what with their stranglehold on the diamond market and their brilliant marketing schemes.

Truth be told, the DeBeers marketers don't tell anyone anything they don't want to hear. They have recognized multiple means objectives of diamond buyers and aimed their marketing money right at the bulls-eye. Giving a diamond encompasses but a few of these means objectives:
- A symbol of rarity which characterizes personal, intimate love
- A symbol of timelessnes that ensures a infinite committment
- A sparkling representation of fiery passion
- A tangible statement to the world that the recipient is her intended's one-and-only
- A precise, elite work of art to wear
- A keepsake to pass down to generations to come

and some less advertised, less ideal objectives:
- A stratification method of opulence and luxury
- A "keep away" sign for would-be suitors
- A distraction from relationship problems
- A delay mechanism for an impatient mate

Faced with a decision which pitted me between the forces of good and evil, a decision which could set the stage for an eternity with the woman I love, I did what any aerospace engineer would do--I started graphing. I jumped on BlueNile.com and started searching... I compiled a list of possible diamonds of interest and filtered and sorted multiple attributes until I was blue in the face. I created an Excel spreadsheet which charted prices and created histograms detailing outliers and inefficiencies in the diamond trade. Download it here.

So did I hit that diamond merchant armed with the full knowledge of my research and the ability to make efficient concessions in the face of adversity? You bet I did. Did I put up the fight of all fights in negotiations with Mr. John Keegan, wringing out all goodwill on both sides of the coin? Nope. When I found the exact diamond ring I wanted for my sweetheart, the tomes of research I compiled faded away and I found peace with my decision. I knew then that the risks/tradeoffs I was prepared to take/make were miniscule compared to the decision to actually propose in the first place. And when I presented Stephanie with the ring in that fated Sunday matinee, I got the best reward I could have imagined, "Yes I will marry you. I love it; it's so me."


**Note to reader: this is the longest entry in my Decision Modeling portfolio due to the sheer impact this decision has had on my life. The rest of the entries should be less taxing to read and more palatable. Don't be afraid; read on...